My Therapist Annoys Me

It's a pretty common situation. Most people going through long-term therapy have probably said something similar about their therapist, and that's normal. It's not the therapist's job to please their client. During a crisis, a therapist can provide support, comfort, and share a person's sorrow. In times of acute distress, analysis is not what someone needs or can handle. They need support and a shoulder to lean on.

But outside of a crisis, when the client seeks therapy, the goal is different — to understand the reasons behind their problems and work on fixing them. The therapist's job is to help the client with their request. This means giving feedback on behavior patterns, exploring painful experiences, and touching on psychological traumas.

And this can be really painful... and it can genuinely be ANNOYING!

The therapeutic relationships are not like meeting up with good friends, where we try to make each other happy and avoid sharp edges. If you pay a therapist and don't try to be open and honest, you're wasting your money.

A therapeutic alliance is a relationship where you not only can be yourself but also pay for the chance to be as authentically you as possible, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable.

By sharing your feelings with your therapist, you provide crucial material for the work you came to do. Expressing anger or frustration towards your therapist gives you an excellent opportunity to express feelings that you usually hide and suffer from in society.

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This therapeutic environment provides safety for you to confront things that are scary to confront elsewhere. You won't be rejected or met with avoidance here.
It also helps you discover the reasons for suppressing your feelings. If you fear that your therapist might be hurt by your emotions, that's essential information for exploration.

People often take responsibility for other people's feelings, and out of fear of upsetting someone important in their lives, they choose to stay silent rather than being honest.

In this therapeutic setting, you can practice expressing your true feelings in a socially acceptable way.

In summary, what you're not used to discussing with others, you can and should discuss with your therapist. And yes, it's normal to get annoyed with your therapist. In fact, sharing these feelings with them is not just normal — it's essential!